all in its place

I keep my sadness in the refrigerator 
In between a bowl of pudding
& half a serving of mac and cheese
a sad attempt to keep it fresh

I put my joy in my closet 
Hung up in front of a streaked mirror
& a dress I only wore once
Because I look in there everyday

My pride is in a box made of aluminum
That once held tubes of lip gloss
And butterfly hair clips
And eye shadow
Bold as the midnight sky

My smile is in my pocket
Ready for use 
Yet sometimes 
Very hard to apply

My life sits
Like an ornament or a trophy
On my computer desk
Gathering a layer of dust 

My energy is in my instrument case 
I hear it sometimes
A rap tap tapping a beat

My fear is in the desk drawer 
Next to my paper and pencils 
& my one little beat up heart

maybe if you stopped living my life for me
and background checking my every word
we would both live better lives

you know what. 

i really don't enjoy school. 

the end is just a car crash away

I held your hand listening to the monitors beep your life away,
watching the fading people in white cover there face.
I watched your tan skin fade to pure white
I felt the chill of the emotionless desire to save your life.
I stood by and did nothing,
they stood by drawing blood by the hour.
Your eyes grew heavy until they would not open,
every hour your breath grew sour.
They said you felt nothing
but you screamed for days.
They said you were at peace
but your body twitched and fumbled every which way.

girl with the glow stick heart

She played at night in the greenery of the silent fields,
Glowing above weeds, vines and shrubs that grew to her mellow hums.
She had a heart that cured wounds of the worse,
And sparked smiles that lit up the skies.
Her heart shown through the cloth that lined her blouse,
Making her bleed colors; warm, lovely colors…
She spun circles in forests leaving a trail of neon lamplight, 
Which not even crows could swallow.
She hadn’t a name, for she couldn’t afford such a thing,
But she acted as if she could.
The young beauty had a face painted over with freckles,
And ashen, cut up lips that were held up by her bony dimples.
Her hair untidy on her head was tied in emblem ribbons that fell to her shoulders.
The youth was a artistry hushed, 
Sealed in pale flesh that was nailed to her bones ruthlessly.
Her soul was as sweet as candy coated in sugar and
She used this to travel the world helping others;
For she was the girl with the glow stick heart...

falling in love in europe
totally cliche
but that cannot be helped

airports

Sitting in an airport 
where loves come and go 
where family values are subject to flight scheduales 
where words are more than sounds 
and when goodbye can mean an eternity


here, i watch
taking off and landing go so smoothly 
but what if they didn't 
would you know how much you mean to me? 


if i crashed into the sea 
would you know that my dying thought
was in your memory? 


how a second will bring us an eternity...
we will never know 
but when the world is so small 
that men can orbit the world in eighty days 
every second matters 


when i am next to you 
the world is lying in my hands 
my orb of loveliness 
i will not let you fade away. 

please

wait...
i didn't mean it...

she is 100 %
...minus him

one in a billion

11:11 i wished for you

(had you wished for her?)

I wished you would at least look at me the next day

That i would get butterflies in my stomach, no matter how much that cliche hurt me

I prayed for you at the 11:00 bell

my chances with you probably lessened

because who prays to a god they don't believe in?

I chatted with you online,

I was abnormally happy,

but only for a second,

because then you weren't there

I chat with you in person

In the hall

Where we are

Just friends

but thats fine with me

I get to be with you

and thats all I need

11:11 I wished for you

but in reality

the odds of that coming true

are still

one in a billion