is just too much to handle
like tonight
i ran upstairs
and threw on a coat
grabbed my ipod
and then sprinted outside
i ran through the familier woods
the trees scratching at my face and my sock feet
i finally reached my tree
ahdexpertly slip into the branches
high above the ground
free from the world
i turned on my ipod
and the familier melody greeted me
i sat
perfectly still
looking up
i counted the stars
star light
star bright
something something wish tonight
if only you could cure pain
by wishing on a star
sitting there
in the dark
shivering
thoughts rushed into my head
of everything
happy and sad
of what i should do
and who i can trust
i looked back
at my failures
my falls
and my smiles
about the movie
in which she lost herself in the glamour
and then went back home
and played in the mud, rode a horse, fell in love
and found herself again
have i lost myself?
will i ever find myself?
and then
i remembered
him
nicolas
he was my bff
i still remember the day i met him
i walked in
not knowing anyone
and he came over and bit me
really hard
that was when i decided i was going to be his friend
we went everywhere together
he came over once and we climbed into this tree
the one i was sitting in.
and we had a contest on how far we could splash our water bottles [i totally won]
my brother and his friends saw us
and started singing
nicolas and niki
sitting in a tree
k-i-s-s-i-n-g
first came love
then came marrage
then came a baby in the baby carrage
we looked at eachother
than dumped our water all over them
then jumped down and ran away
a year later
his family moved to idaho
i haven't seen him in like eight years
i don't like nicolas
anymore than a friend
and not even that
cause i don't even know him anymore
i don't know his favorite color,
if he likes anybody,
if he has a girlfriend i could tease him about
if he still bites people [probably]
i miss him though
which is weird
i just felt like i didn't have to pretend around him
i could be me
cause no one else could be weirder than bitting boy.
thats what they would call him
bitting boy
and i was dirt girl
cause i ate dirt
we were the weird ones
the outcasts
but
who cares?
so tonight
my wish upon a star:
i wish that someone would come over soon
and sit up in a tree with me
and help me forget life
if only for a day
to laugh
and maybe even cry a little
[if thats what i need]
i wish to spill everything
and then
have someone distract me
give me a hug
and then make me laugh
take my mind off life
i want to have a water throwing contest
i want to just be free again
is that too much to ask for?
